


I've Got (Boy)Friends On The Other Side

by orphan_account



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Birthday, Birthday Cake, Birthday Party, Birthday Presents, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Morally Neutral Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Morally Neutral Creativity | Roman "Princey Sanders, Morally Neutral Morality | Patton Sanders, Multi, Party, Swearing, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Sides (Sanders Sides), Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Sympathetic Logic | Logan Sanders, why is that one specifically not a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:34:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24829165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Janus, Logan, and Remus are all having a bad time. They escape their troubles for a while with a birthday celebration for Remus.In other words: A birthday fic for the trash man, featuring light angst, a fair bit of fluff, and copious amounts of intruloceit.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 18
Kudos: 237





	I've Got (Boy)Friends On The Other Side

**Author's Note:**

> Guys. I did it. I wrote a fluffy scene and didn't limit it (that) much. What's next? Full, unbridled hurt/comfort? A coffee shop au?

Janus stared at his hat and capelet, hung up on the wall of his room, and seethed.

  
Roman was a bitch, he really was. Of all the sides, he should have been the open-minded one- his own brother was one of the so-called dark sides, for Stirner's sake. But the mere suggestion that he might be closer to his own family than he'd like to believe, and he completely lost it. It would be sad if it weren't so infuriating.

  
"It's like looking in a fun-house mirror... And seeing everything you don't want to be." Janus knew that Roman was meant to be egotistical, but that was just ridiculous. To imply that Remus was nothing more than a copy, a muddled reflection of Roman himself- did the side have zero self awareness? Clearly not, seeing as he learned nothing from his experiences with Virgil.

  
At least today, on his brothers' birthday, Janus had thought that maybe- just maybe! -there would be some sort of sign that Roman remembered he wasn't the only Creativity. Remus had been sitting hopefully in the living room for hours just staring at the door, like he could summon his brother and some lack-luster gift. It would have meant the world to the intrusive side, and it boiled Janus' blood how the idiot prince couldn't even take that much time out of his day to do something that would have made Remus' entire year.

But there was nothing for it- bitches would be bitches, and Janus had a best friend to support.

-

Logan didn't feel emotions. That said, if he was forced to, he might name the current disturbances in his chest as anger, confusion, and sadness. Not that he ever would, of course.

He tried so hard to be what the others expected of him. First it was the vocabulary cards. Perhaps, he had thought, if he could speak their language, they would understand him more? But that hypothesis proved more incorrect than he could have imagined. Which he didn't. Next had been playing along with their games. Sure, he could change his form to Thomas' friends! He could experiment with Hogwarts houses! He would even sing a song for Christmas. Turn himself into a puppet for a short while. None of it had worked.

So he shut himself out. Limited his interactions to exposition, then only facts, then a text box. If he could hope, then he'd hoped that perhaps somebody would notice. Virgil might comment on how he didn't go on tangents about his passions, Patton would wonder why he didn't smile, Roman might try to engage him in a discussion about Crofters. Of course, none of them did, and a that was another note in his research log- hope brings in a rate of almost complete disappointment.

Then why did he still have symptoms of heartburn when he'd left dinner after five minutes, and nobody noticed? Why could he not even bring himself to go back to his room, which was cold and empty, and was now wandering the halls with no logical direction?

Logan walked a little bit faster, trying to leave the questions behind him.

-

Remus was getting a little bit, just a teensy weensy smaller-than-a-pulled-out-baby-tooth shred of boredom from sitting in front of the door all day. Boredom was unusual for him, and he most absolutely did not appreciate it. One would think that he should be able to endlessly amuse himself- he was Creativity, after all.

No, that wasn't right. He was half of Creativity, the worse half, if you went by what Patton and Roman said. And seeing as wishing somebody a happy birthday was normally a 'good' thing to do, he would have expected the better half to have at least slipped a note under the door by now. Or texted. Maybe he should have apologized for knocking him out with the mace? They had never had to apologize to each other when they got out of hand before. Maybe it was just another thing that Remus had ruined.

What if the door could open by itself? If it was possessed by a demon- Oh! And whoever passed the threshold also got possessed, and went insane, and started biting through peoples' torsos to try and eat their liver- no. Those were the kinds of thoughts that kept him stuck here, that made Roman not visit for his birthday.

  
Sometimes he wished he actually had tentacles. Not just for the hentai, but because then he could grab Roman and drag him down here without actually having to leave. Leaving, of course, would cause him to be possessed by that demon in the door. Or had he made that up? Remus couldn't remember by now, and honestly didn't care. He'd tried human liver before and the taste was better suited to a Thanksgiving dinner, so he definitely didn't want to have a sudden craving for some now.

He stood up and began to pace. Maybe drawing would help him? But no matter what, it was always pictures of a dragon slaying a prince, or the French Revolution, or a dog orgy. Nothing turned out right.

  
Remus suddenly realized he was much closer to the door than he had thought- so close, in fact, that he was repeatedly banging his head against it. The blood mixed with his already matted hair and ran down his face. He didn't even have the energy to paint satanic symbols on the wall with it, so he just snapped the wound closed.

So nobody would be celebrating his birthday with him. So what? It's not like he needed a big party or anything. It would be nice, though, if somebody could at least remember.

  
These thoughts were still running through his head as he walked down one of the twisting halls in the outskirts of the Mindscape. Remus muttered to himself, thoughts and justifications and hope and fear- but was cut off by the appearance of a certain snaky side in front of him. Janus half-smiled, and held out one gloved hand.

"Say, Remus. How would you feel about a party?"

-

Nothing could warm Janus' cold heart like seeing Remus' face split into his signature grin. For most, the fact that his face quite literally split would be off-putting, but it was just another peril of having a Duke as a best friend. Janus wiped away the blood affectionately.

  
"You got me a party? Even though there are only two of us? That's not enough for an orgy!" Remus was giggling uncontrollably, but Janus could see through him. He was excited, and confused, and a little ashamed.

"Of course I did, asshole. What kind of best friend would I be?" Janus shot Remus a blinding grin. "Though, I'm sorry to say, I didn't quite manage to organize an orgy."

"That's fine, I guess. But where is it? I haven't seen anything..." Remus started looking around frantically, like the party might be hiding behind a lampshade or under one of the spiked pillow cushions.

"This way, Ream." Janus grabbed Remus' sleeve and began to saunter down one of the halls, which quickly changed into a light jog as the creative side surged ahead of him. "Hey! You don't even know where it is yet!" Janus all but shoved Remus through the turns, as he refused to slow down.

Finally, they reached a marked door. Janus smirked at Remus, while deftly turning the knob behind his back. "We've arrived, dearest."

Janus led his friend into a wide, cathedral-like space. Indeed, it was a perfect replica of a scene that would have appeared in an ancient cathedral, complete with the filth that the fighters lived in and the bloodthirsty crowd. The space was lit only by green and gold lights that flew around, casting everything in a strange light. Shadows moved strangely, the faces of the people looked twisted, and the sound of faint screaming could be heard whenever you strained your ears.

Janus was attacked from behind. Or at least, that was his first instinct- but a few moments of further inspection revealed that he had simply been hugged by all five feet ten inches of Remus Sanders. He let out a low oomph at the impact, but hugged back fiercely.

"You did all of this for me?" Remus' green eyes shone maniacally. "Nobody does stuff like this for me."

Janus smiled at him, no trace of sarcasm in his gaze for once in his life. "Of course I did. You haven't even seen your present yet, darling."

"You got me a present?" Remus was shaking now, and his neck was moving in ways that human necks rarely did without outside involvement. Janus snapped his fingers, and a yellow-eyed bull came rushing out of the gates to their left. It bowed it's head. "Should I...?" Remus seemed uncertain, but Janus nodded firmly.

"Go ahead."

With a battle cry, Remus rushed forwards, morning star summoned and raised high above his head. He bashed right between the bulls' horns, and its head split open lengthwise. Where the skull and brain should have been, there was instead a poorly wrapped box covered in various slimy fluids. Remus approached it with far more care this time, quivering with excitement.

Inside was a small tank, with a miniature octopus swimming inside. It immediately latched on to Remus' arm, and he lifted it to eye level in admiration.

"Do you like it?" Janus looked almost nervous. "It can spray various... Fluids if it feels like it, and I think it can do camouflage. I'm not very good at summoning, not like you are, so I couldn't do much mo-" Janus' words were again muffled by a faceful of Duke. Remus seemed to have forgotten that Janus couldn't exactly carry him, and had jumped right into his arms.

"I love it! I'm going to name her Travis."

Janus mumbled something like 'you're welcome' into Remus' shirt, before promptly dropping him. Remus was heavy.

-

Logan honestly hadn't meant to get as far out in the mindscape as he was. The endlessly twisting hallways had turned him around until that his natural sense of direction was spinning like a compass at True North, and he hadn't noticed the dimming of the lights as he walked, absorbed in his own thoughts.

So it came as quite a surprise when Logan blinked a few times and realized that not only could he barely see, but there was a light shining out from under a nearby door that stood out against the darkness like a sore thumb. He knew, rationally, that there were only two sides that would be so far out here, but curiosity still got the best of him.

That was the one emotion he hadn't managed to fully erase from his mind.

Or, perhaps he should figuratively scratch that. As Logan inched open the green-tinged door, an emotion bloomed in his chest he didn't know how to name. It felt like bubbles, as ridiculous as that sounded. He could almost hear Roman mocking him.

There was a complete cathedral hidden behind that seemingly innocuous door. Historically accurate, too- and he wasn't ashamed to say that that particular fact filled him with no small amount of tingles. The lighting, while not conventional, enraptured him, and the dancing shadows made it feel ethereal.

What mainly caught his attention, however, were the two sides in the center. The 'dark' sides had never looked so bright- Remus' eyes practically glowing, as Janus led him through a slow waltz. Logan strained his ears, but he couldn't hear their soft and murmured conversation.

Logan hadn't been a large part of Thomas' romantic discoveries. When they had been a teen, and Logan provided factual evidence that Thomas was most likely homosexual- he felt the classic signs of attraction near men, but never women- he always got brushed off. He never understood why Roman and Patton had made such a fuss over who Thomas was attracted to, or why Virgil would ignore his carefully thought out hypothesis because 'Thomas couldn't be different'.

He understood now. Staring at the two sides in front of him, soft and brilliant, he felt like he could fly- but also apprehensive. These two could crush his heart- listen to him, feeling, hearts- with just a few words. Remus had already shown no hesitancy in physically harming him, though the effects weren't permanent, and Janus had constantly brushed him aside. He didn't blame them, either.

He hadn't been one of the sides that forced the 'others' away, but he definitely hadn't fought as much as he could have.

No, he should leave, before he got, Pavlov forbid, hopeful again. Sufficient testing had proven that hope was a useless endeavor. Carefully, Logic inched the door closed. He took one last glance inside- and made direct eye contact with a smirking snake.

-

Remus was having the time of his life, and that was counting the time he'd recreated Frozen with human entrails instead of snow.

The atmosphere was perfect. The screaming was cacophonous. His best friend was dancing with him. Janus must have spent an insane amount of time on this- the sides that weren't halves of Creativity usually could only summon small items.

If Remus didn't know better, he could have sworn that the human side of Janus' face was blushing. If Remus had any sense of shame, he would have been far more hesitant to admit that his own face was a bright red, brighter than fresh menstrual fluid on a too-thin pad But could you blame him? Janus' soft features were accentuated in this light, and he looked so... At peace, swaying gently. It wasn't often Remus got to see him like this.

It's not that Remus hadn't imagined having sex with the lying side. He'd imagined sex with most people, both in and outside of Thomas' head, at one point in his life- he didn't consider it weird, just another perk of getting to know somebody. They say hi, we say hi, Remus puts on a dramatic mental movie of them going down on us. Roman and Patton yell at him for an hour, and if the thought actually gets through to Thomas (which they rarely do, anymore) their host joins in.

But something about this was different. Remus could remember back when he and Roman had been on speaking terms, his brother had described love 'like being picked up by your chest and set on a cloud, like fireworks bursting over the crisp scent of leaves like...' Remus had zoned out after that, because it all sounded like a load of bullshit. Sure, he could picture being picked up by his bare, exposed, glistening ribs- but that hardly seemed like the stuff that the other sides would deem romantic. That was more his area of expertise.

He didn't feel anything like that now. That was way too over-the-top, way too extra and Roman, and Remus wasn't Roman. But for the first time, he understood what Roman had been trying (and failing) to get at. For some reason he felt the sudden urge to be closer to Janus, and not even in a sexual way. How disgustingly romantic.

Except now Janus was staring at him, like Remus was sure he'd been staring for the last ten minutes, and they both leaned in. Remus almost closed his eyes, but suddenly his dance partners' eyes shot up, and a slight smirk graced his features.

  
"Looks like we have a visitor, darling."

Remus twisted around, quickly enough to see Logan Sanders standing, like a deer in headlights, in the doorway.

-

Janus hadn't planned on almost kissing Remus today, but it was a pleasant development all around. Would have been better if they'd gone all the way, but he was distracted by the sight of the door gently being closed. Somebody peered through, and Janus recognized those dark grey eyes.

He put a hand on the side of Remus' face, and pulled away slightly, gesturing with his chin at the doorway. "Looks like we have a visitor, darling."

Remus jerked around, several emotions flitting through his face- confusion, then anger, then a sharp look of glee. "Is that the nerdy wolverine? Logan, how sneaky!" The logical side hesitantly inched the door open again, and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"I apologize to you both. I did not mean to venture this far out into the mindscape, much less intrude on the celebration of Remus' passage through the birth canal thirty-one years ago. I shall take my leave-"

"Oh, nonsense! Exhibitionism is right up my alley, you should know that!" Remus started to skip happily towards Logan- Janus internally grumbled about the loss of body contact- before stopping abruptly. "Wait, hold the foreplay. You remembered my birthday?"

Something indistinguishable shone in Logan's eyes as he stepped halfway over the threshold. "Of course I did. I have basic information about all of Thomas' sides. However," He glanced at the dark sides "Some of my databases are woefully incomplete."

Remus looked entirely confused. Janus cut in to save him. "What the dear professor is trying to say is that he wants to get to know us better. For research purposes only". The last line was said simultaneously by Janus and Logan, and they stared at each other challengingly. They stayed at an impasse for a few moments, before Remus broke in again.

"Well, that's just wonderful! You two can be nerds together, and I bet Logan knows lots that could help me with my pets!" Janus laughed and walked forwards, slinging an arm around Remus' shoulder.

  
"Sounds terrible. Logan, would you care to join?"

Logan was still looking a little shell-shocked after all the attention, but adjusted his glasses and coughed slightly. "That would be adequate, if I am not intruding too much."

"Of course not! I just love it when other people show up where they're not invited, especially hot ones!" Ignoring Logan's sputtering, Remus waved a hand and summoned a filled the room full of shadow demons. Only about half of them were humanoid, and those that were had deep, soulless eyes. If they had eyes at all. You couldn't look at them straight on, and they always gave the impression of having their flesh peeling off. 

Then, all of a sudden, they started dancing.

Mostly it was among themselves- hundreds of different styles, from all around the world, swinging and swaying a jumping and stepping. They switched between dances like Janus switched between hats, eerily silent. Before Janus could say another word, he'd been swept into the whirlwind- spun around and passed along by several different shadows, becoming a part of their evanescent dance moves, capelet flaring out like it was just another shadow.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Logan and Remus receiving the same treatment. Before he knew it, he'd been dropped into Logan's arms. Never one to miss a beat, Janus spun his dance partner for a long few seconds before ending in a dramatic dip.

Logan opened his mouth, like he was going to say something, but before anything could get out, different monsters had grabbed each of their hands. Janus ended up somehow dancing with Remus a few minutes later- though they were on very different pages, with Janus trying to waltz solemnly and Remus doing what looked like a standing breakdance. It was lovely.

Around half an hour later, having switched between many different partners and utterly exhausted (also, it was difficult to focus seeing Remus and Logan whispering to each other whenever they got paired up) Janus swept across the room and grabbed the arms of both the other sides. The shadow monsters seemed to take this as their cue to dissipate, though some remained, and harmonized with the faint screaming.

Janus smiled softly at the other two. "There was one last thing I had planned." Remus eagerly started to follow him, while Logan hung back.

  
He looked uncomfortable, and a little bit confused. Janus raised an eyebrow at him. "You can come as well, Singer enthusiast." Looking relieved, Logan rushed after them.

After a moment, Remus took both of their hands.

-

  
Logan was in no way excited, giddy, or flustered.

  
Sometimes he really hated that voice in his head- the one that whispered 'falsehood' whenever he found a lie, even one he told to himself. Freudian slips were more like Freudian unravellings, metaphorically. That same voice was muttering now, about how his heart rate was increasing and blood was flowing to his cheeks and his hands were shaking, and he had not been showing any of these symptoms an hour earlier. 

  
There were many environmental factors that had changed in that hour, but even he could not logic his way out of the truth- the two sides to his right were by far the most drastic. His also matched Thomas' symptoms on that crucial fishing trip well, from all those years ago.

Remus was so curious. It hadn't occurred to Logan just how much he'd missed the King's constant questioning, about what would happen if he did this or that or how often something occurred or why something was the way it was. He'd loved seeing somebody take his knowledge and turn it into something unique and beautiful, tangible and personal to him and its creator. He never questioned why Roman had lost so much of that drive for learning, but it was very clear now. Remus wasn't afraid to learn the facts, no matter how gruesome or underwhelming. Roman would have been outraged at Logan's (completely objective) points on how many of his favorite authors and artists were homophobes, or racists, or sexists, but Remus just listened with a sick, twisted, (beautiful) smile.

Remus made Logan want to create again, instead of retelling others' stories.

And Janus. He was so calm, completely cold to anybody who peered from a distance. But given reason to, he would wax eloquent about any one of hundreds of moral dilemmas, all while making you feel like you weren't really debating, just laughing and talking. He wasn't as curious as Remus- he had very a very solid worldview, and was perfectly comfortable living in it. Ironically similar to Patton, actually. But he was just as open-minded. He would play the devils advocate and make it sound like the fruit of knowledge, had opened matryoshkas of Pandora's Boxes until Logan barely understood why he had ever gone along with the Light's limited worldview. Not that they agreed on everything, but Logan felt (and somehow, that word didn't burn quite so much) like he had reached a more educated point of objectivity.

Janus made Logan want to learn. He'd almost forgotten how much he loved learning.

And maybe, just maybe, he stared at them for a few minutes. Maybe he didn't even take in their surroundings until Janus put a hand on his back and led him toward the middle of a- room? No, at some point they had moved to a simulation of an outdoors space. He must have really not been paying attention. Hypothetically.

But now that he did look around, he was once again surprised. There were several body bags in the corner, the wailing of police sirens- it was a murder scene, straight out of a cheesy movie. There were even two chalk outlines on the cement. Janus snapped his fingers, and a third, thinner and longer, appeared between the other two.

...oh. With glances at the others, Logan hesitantly lay down on the cold ground. He fit perfectly into the outline Janus had created, and it wasn't as uncomfortable as he'd thought- the cement was oddly soft and cushiony.

Remus and Janus lay down on either side of him, and they lay there for a while, staring up at the stars. They all inched closer to each other, for warmth, but nobody commented on it.

Suddenly, something occurred to Logan. "Say, Remus. I have not gotten you a gift, as is traditional for these celebrations."

Remus looked nervous. "You don't have to! You finding us was like Aunt Patty finding the dead body rotting in the attic after seven weeks of her friend being missing- I mean, it was unexpected. I don't need a gift from you!" Logan squinted at him, and seemed to come to a decision.

  
"I would like to. I think..." He struggled for a moment, then smiled softly. "Ah." Logan summoned a chair, so he could focus on his work, and Remus expanded it into a couch that they could all sit on. Logan closed his eyes, focused, then grasped a box in his hands. It was carefully wrapped, with a tie pattern.

Logan could see Remus putting in effort to be careful, which was extremely endearing. From an objective standpoint. A slow smile spread across his face when it was completely open, and he cackled in delight.

"Lolo, is this..."

  
"An accurate model of the reproductive system from which you emerged decades ago, and the reason why we are celebrating this day? Yes. I hope you notice in particular the amniotic sac and fluid, which serve to-" the rest of Logan's sentence was muffled in Remus' sash. A glance at a smirking Janus indicated that these bear hugs were a regular occurrence when spending time with the intrusive side, and Logan couldn't say he was disappointed. They all formed a cuddle pile as Remus extended the couch to be longer, and Logan had never felt more at peace.

-

  
Remus was in love.

  
He was never one to lie to himself, and this was no exception. Janus was so caring, Logan was so amazing, and he just wanted to stay cuddled up with them forever. This was better than making crowns out of naga heads, better than finding a new kink.

On a whim, he put Janus' hat (which had somehow stayed on his head this entire time, probably due to sorcery) on Logan's head. They both squawked indignantly, but Remus just pulled them in closer.

"I greatly appreciate both of you, you know." Janus' smooth voice was the first to break the silence, and Remus' heart might have started oozing with how happy he was.

"Your existences... Are wonderful." Logan buried his head in Janus' cloak, but the sentiment was still there.

"I love you too." Remus melted into the embrace of his boyfriends, and for once, he finally felt like he had a place he belonged.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated. Constructive criticism would make my week. Please go get a drink of water or I'll cry


End file.
